Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Let's Express Some ENTHUSIASM !!!

“Generating enthusiasm (from the Greek en theos -- with God) intellectually is challenging because God or spirit can only be experienced, not understood.”

Robert White


Long time readers of Extraordinary Minutes know that I’m a big fan of enthusiasm being fully expressed. It engages your body, mind and spirit and puts you in the ideal resource state for living an extraordinary life.

I did a radio interview about leadership recently and was asked about leading during a time of economic contraction. My theme included the need for more “cheerleading” by leaders and I was challenged by the host’s limiting belief that “not everyone is wired to be a cheerleader.”

I was probably more abrupt than he expected from a guest when I said, “how the leader is wired may be a reality but it is insufficient as an excuse. Leading is as much about energy as anything else and sharing your enthusiasm for your role, your family, your community or nation – YOUR LIFE – is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone. Plus sometimes it’s an obligation of leadership.”

Please share your perspective on enthusiasm and even any favorite excuses for “being cool” by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Special holiday price reduction! Order "Living an Extraordinary Life" before December 10, 2010 and pay only $15.95 each including shipping and handling. Or, order the “Eight Power Principles” Home Study Program at the special price of $210 and receive the book as a bonus gift. ORDER NOW!

Generating enthusiasm intellectually is challenging because spirit can only be experienced, not understood.

“Generating enthusiasm (from the Greek en theos -- with God) intellectually is challenging because God or spirit can only be experienced, not understood.”

Robert White

Long time readers of Extraordinary Minutes know that I’m a big fan of enthusiasm being fully expressed. It engages your body, mind and spirit and puts you in the ideal resource state for living an extraordinary life.

I did a radio interview about leadership recently and was asked about leading during a time of economic contraction. My theme included the need for more “cheerleading” by leaders and I was challenged by the host’s limiting belief that “not everyone is wired to be a cheerleader.”

I was probably more abrupt than he expected from a guest when I said, “how the leader is wired may be a reality but it is insufficient as an excuse. Leading is a much about energy as anything else and sharing your enthusiasm for your role, your family, your community or nation – YOUR LIFE – is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone. Plus sometimes it’s an obligation of leadership.”

Please share your perspective on enthusiasm and even any favorite excuses for “being cool” by leaving a comment on this blog.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Special holiday price reduction! Order "Living an Extraordinary Life" before December 10, 2010 and pay only $15.95 each including shipping and handling. Or, order the “Eight Power Principles” Home Study Program at the special price of $210 and receive the book as a bonus gift. ORDER NOW!

Robert White is a skilled and powerful executive coach, professional leadership trainer and public speaker who works with people and organizations that want more success, joy and fulfillment. He is an experienced serial entrepreneur, author of a best-selling book, traveler (visitor to 33 countries and resident in 3), father to eight children and committed to doing his part in ending child abuse and neglect.

To retain Robert, talk about any of this or anything else, or just say hello, you can call Robert White direct at (303) 993-4640 or e-mail him at Robert@ExtraordinaryPeople.com.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Gratitude in Words and Deeds

“Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.”

Theodore Roosevelt

I’m hearing from friends and clients worldwide that they are facing economic challenges beyond anything they’ve ever experienced. It’s a tough time for many of us.

As we celebrate the U.S. holiday of Thanksgiving, perhaps this is an excellent time to remind ourselves to express gratitude for our many blessings. Even though there are more than enough stresses in our busy lives, we are blessed beyond measure.

Ultimately we are social beings. Our families, friends and colleagues support and nourish us so find a time over the next few days to say “Thank You. Thank you for the gift you are in my life.” And, following President Roosevelt’s counsel, find a family in need or a local charity to support with your hands or by opening your wallet!

My friend the late John Denver wrote (and sang) following his experience of one of our seminars...

The gift you are, like the very first breath of spring
The gift you are, all the joy that love can bring
The gift you are, all of our dreams come true
The gift you are, the gift of you

You and your support are a gift to me and I am profoundly grateful. Thank you!

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Do you Hold People Accountable for Keeping Commitments or Communicating Directly and Honestly?

“When I hold you accountable with direct, even seemingly brutal honesty, I’m being a true friend, a great boss or a committed parent.” Robert White

A challenge for many people is either holding people – family, colleagues, vendors – accountable for their commitments OR communicating directly and honestly...OR BOTH!

This is a key consciousness and skill set that everyone in a leadership role absolutely must gain a level of mastery and then consistently and powerfully “do it.” No denial. No excuses. No delay.

My experience with myself and with my executive coaching clients conclusively proves that the source of this reluctance to holding people accountable and telling the truth is rooted in dysfunctional belief systems and projections. It is “old stuff” that may have been useful or at least understandable in our history but no longer serves us.

Clearing the past is a challenging, necessary and ultimately freeing exercise in living an extraordinary life and creating extraordinary results.

Please share your perspective on accountability and truth telling by posting a comment.

With love and respect,
Robert

P. S. Robert’s book “Living an Extraordinary Life” is now available for only $9.99 on Kindle http://tinyurl.com/29u8265 and for almost every digital reader (iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, etc.) including your computer at http://tinyurl.com/2azpjqq Inscribed and signed hard copies are always available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Circle of Life

“Look around you. The trees, flowers, birds, every animal and insect; every living thing. It’s miraculous. And it is all going to die. You will too, and so will all of those you love. The time will come when you will have to say good-bye to people. You don't know when. It could be tomorrow or next week. Yet, we live as if it will never happen. We get angry with our children or our partner, then leave for the day or longer, forgetting that if something terrible were to befall them, our last words would have been words of resentment and frustration, not love. And we would have to find a way to live with that.”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life”
by Robert White


I acknowledge this is a bold statement. I meant it when I wrote it and still do. Your responses are actively solicited -- comment below!

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Who Comes First ... You or The Tribe?

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay the privilege of owning yourself.”

Friedrich Nietzsche


I was going to write this but Nietzsche beat me to it. (It’s an old, tired line but I couldn’t resist using it.)

Observing my children go through their adolescent years – each in their own, unique way – served as a constant reminder that a key aspect of our journey through life is learning to own ourselves, to develop into a truly independent being. They’ve fortunately been great examples of that maturing process and I am so very proud of each of them.

My strong belief is that only by being truly independent, can we connect powerfully and purposely to others. Attempting to be “part of” something bigger while secretly wanting approval and to somehow complete ourselves is a fool’s errand.

It’s my intention that these weekly missives contribute to readers’ continuing growth and development. If you agree, please forward this message to your network and suggest they subscribe.

Feedback is always welcome--please comment below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Robert’s book “Living an Extraordinary Life” is now available for only $9.99 on Kindle http://tinyurl.com/29u8265 and for almost every digital reader (iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, etc.) including your computer at http://tinyurl.com/2azpjqq Inscribed and signed hard copies are always available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Grey Twilight or Glorious Triumph: It's Your Choice

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt

While I’m not a fan of Teddy’s politics, I so admire his zest for life and he said it so well in this quote.

I feel so blessed to work with clients committed to “dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs.” Their clarity, courage and commitment inspire me and bring me hope for the future of our planet.
Please share the “mighty things” that you are committed to by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Conflict: Do You Run or Hide?


“Only in the center of the storm is it calm. But it takes courage to go there.”

Tom Crum from “Journey to Center”


I organize my quotes by subject and I just realized that almost all of my selections on the important subject of conflict are from master teacher and author Tom Crum.

This is one of those quotes that deserves re-reading, some reflection and reading it again. Tom’s metaphors for much of his work come from his dedicated practice of Aikido, the Japanese martial art that is often translated as “the way of harmonious spirit.” He’s like a ten thousandth degree black belt or something like that.

It is counter-intuitive and just plain scary to go to “the center of the storm.” Yet truly that’s where lasting solutions to conflict lie.

What’s your latest conflict … or are you avoiding one? Let us know by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Can You Sit Quietly?

"All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone."

Blaise Pascal

This is one of my personal favorite quotes. And, as always, it attracts me because I so clearly need to follow its wise counsel.

Whether through prayer or meditation or a walk in the woods or along the beach, it is so important to regularly make time for listening to God or our inner voice.

What’s your practice? Living an extraordinary life requires one.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Should Leaving a Relationship Require Severance Pay?

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

Bob Ettinger


It felt like a good day to “lighten up” and I’m appreciative of Bob Ettinger’s wit and wisdom about intimate relationships.

One of my young adult children “got dumped” by a first love earlier this year – I’m definitely not naming names here. The pain was obvious and though I felt privileged to be included in some honest sharing, I also was frustrated that I couldn’t offer much more than “time heals.”

The aspect of Buddhism that is most interesting to me is the emphasis on compassion. Whether it is ending a relationship, firing an employee or dealing with an overstressed waitperson or flight attendant, let’s all work to be more compassionate. It’s one of the ways we can all contribute to a world that works for all. Your stories are welcomed by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Since We "Shall not pass this way again" .....

"I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness or abilities that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

William Penn


Many people are experiencing really challenging times right now and it occurs to me that we should all take note of Penn’s words and, more importantly, act on them. Our friends, relatives, colleagues and the bigger world need our caring and committed participation.

Shortly after my friend John Denver’s untimely death, our mutual friend Judy Hill shared the following with me:

"The first time I heard John Denver sing in person was in front of the old Aspen post office in 1970. He was standing hidden inside a cardboard freezer carton he had painted to look like a juke box. You could put a donation in the slot to Touchstone, the free local mental health clinic and choose your song. He and his guitar would go into action!"

I learned later that at that time, John wasn't famous, wasn't rich and was simply doing what he could for a cause he believed in – building a new clinic. In his case, doing what he could was to SING ... and in so doing, he made his unique contribution. In the 11 years of our friendship, again and again I witnessed him "doing what he could." The John Denver concerts we sponsored for The Adoption Exchange, the Aspen Camp for the Deaf, Give Kids the World and the One World One People Foundation were only possible because of John's willingness to greatly discount his fee and then do all the advance promotional work without charge.

He was and is a powerful influence and model of love in action for my life ... and for many others. Please share your commitments to share what you can by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Of Course "You're Right!"

“Our attitudes, opinions, beliefs and judgments are, simply put, our attitudes, opinions, beliefs and judgments. They are not universal truths.”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life” by Robert White


I received some feedback in my recent reader survey that objected to my practice of not commenting whenever I quote myself. So here goes...

Our attitudes, opinions, beliefs and judgments are, simply put, our attitudes, opinions, beliefs and judgments. They are not universal truths.

Alright, I admit I’m being a bit snarky here but I really did say what I wanted to say when I wrote the book. (available signed and inscribed at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com)

This thought is connected to one of the most commented on chapters in “Living an Extraordinary Life,” the one about our overwhelming need to “be right.” It’s a relationship and team accomplishment killer which gets in the way of success at every level.

Complaints and comments welcome by commenting below!

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Robert’s book is now available for only $9.99 on Kindle http://tinyurl.com/29u8265 and for almost every digital reader (iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, etc.) including your computer at http://tinyurl.com/2azpjqq

Inscribed and signed hard copies are always available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Leap in the Dark

"We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success."

Henry David Thoreau


Our thinking mind—at least the conscious part—is the source of our uniqueness as a human being. It can also be our enemy when confronted with risk, especially the risks we know we must take in order to achieve extraordinary results.

I read Seth Godin’s blog regularly (http://sethgodin.typepad.com/) and he often refers to the negative effects possible when we act out of our “lizard brain.” You know, that reptilian monster overly concerned with survival and seemingly oblivious to our purpose, vision, values and goals.

My biggest risks taken have led to incredible satisfaction, joy and success: moving from Green Bay to Milwaukee, New York, San Francisco, Tokyo, Denver, Aspen, back to Tokyo then Hong Kong and back to the USA. Changing careers at 27. Getting married (all right, that didn’t turn out too well) and having children (that turned out very well). All of that represented a “leap in the dark” and required that I quiet my lizard brain.

My seminar and executive coaching experience is that at some level we all know “what’s next” for us in our personal, professional and community involvement lives. What often stops us is fear of the dark.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and perhaps how you bring light to the subject by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Genius or Hard Work?

“Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them.”

Joseph Joubert



Recently I’ve been reading a lot about marketing in the 21st Century. Included are contrasting opinions on that plain old four letter word ….. work!

In his book “The Four-Hour Workweek” Timothy Ferris essentially lobbies against work. In a Success Magazine audio interview, wine guy (and huge marketing success story) Gary Vaynerchuk says the opposite: that only long days and lots of them will bring success.

Who’s right? Like one of my favorite philosophers, Forrest Gump, famously said, “a little of both?”

Certainly we can benefit from Ferriss’s counsel to focus only on high value added activities and delegate the rest. That said, I really have never seen an example of extraordinary success that did not include lots of hard work. If you’re doing what you love and are 100% committed to, it might not seem like work, but the hours and days necessary for great results are still required.

As always, your feedback (if you can fit it in while working hard …. or not) is welcome by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

How's Your Stuff?

"He had somehow lost that human touch, and he gradually dried up. What he had done in his life had perhaps haunted him."

From Quantum of Solace by Ian Fleming


Executives with whom I’ve had the privilege to coach for performance often comment that the initial work we do on “completing their past” is key to the extraordinary results they create later in the relationship.

What a friend refers to as the “normally neurotic” person …. in other words, you and me …. tend to carry with us the unnecessary burdens of past blame, shame, regret, guilt and even success. We attempt to launch ourselves into a future freely chosen; yet we’re weighted down with all that – time for a technical term here – “stuff.”

Our past hopefully includes experiences that provide great memories and lead to greater wisdom. Anything else—especially that “stuff”—should be looked at as just that, the past, and just let it go.

Please share your stories of “stuff let go” and what it meant to creating a better future by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Do You Have Reasons or Results?

“People who take responsibility for all they create are able to quickly sort truth from fiction in their lives, and in the communication they're receiving from those around them, by using the simple litmus test of “based on results.” Wishing and hoping, reasons and excuses will never tell you the truth. If you say you intend to have a happy marriage, have you got one? If you say you want to earn a degree from a good university, have you done it? If you say you want ten million dollars, do you have it? If you don't have what you say you want, then how come?

You've either got the results you say you want, or you have reasons to explain why not. Developing a rigorous and honest relationship with results moves you powerfully toward creating your extraordinary life.”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life”
by Robert White


Wow! That guy can really communicate! You can bust my ego and bring me back to humility by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Who Believes in You?


“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.”


Ralph Waldo Emerson


Let’s get some acknowledgements out there immediately: Alan, Bob and Judith, John and Mike, Julia, Kathy, Dan, another Mike, Jim (2 of them!), Tami, David, Chris (2 more!), Kevin, Lance, Karen, Ron, Bill, Rick, Kate, Herb, Wilson and Joyce … THANK YOU! For believing in me and for being true friends.

So who do you need to thank? And who needs to thank you because of the belief in them that you often express?

Gratitude and celebration welcome by commenting below!

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Have You Put a Dollar in the Change Machine?

“I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.”

George Carlin

I’ve been pretty serious in recent Extraordinary Minutes so these words from the dearly missed George Carlin seem appropriate. Of course, like so much of his humor, he always made us think about the human condition.

True and meaningful, useful, even transformational change is easily talked about yet one of the most difficult challenges in our lives. We hold on to old identities, structures and attitudes ferociously. We vigorously defend what has never worked for us. Even more insidiously, we defend what has worked for us in the past and is no longer adequate to current circumstances and future possibilities.

All right—I know I’ve taken this light-hearted quote and become very serious about it. You can complain or comment below! And please share with your friends!

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

How Do You Grow Old?


"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul."


Samuel Ullman


Examples abound of “mature” folks who inspire and delight us; who add to our lives in countless ways.

The differentiator is often simple enthusiasm—for the opportunities, challenges, people, places, everything in their lives.

It’s a choice we all face many times daily and choosing to be enthusiastic and to look for circumstances that create enthusiasm is key to living an extraordinary life.

And let me know how you express your enthusiasm by commenting below!

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Congratulations to those who "got through" and ordered my home study program "Eight Principles" with the special $100 reduction in price (normal retail $195) and apologies to those who attempted to order it and couldn't "get through." We haven't figured out why the e mail link worked for some and not others -- so we've extended the offer one week and ask that you e mail me direct, tell me you want the program and I'll personally take care of everything: robert@extraordinarypeople.com

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Leadership and Creativity

“There are two ways of being creative. One can sing and dance. Or one can create an environment in which singers and dancers flourish.”

Warren Bennis


Professor Bennis is one of my favorite authorities on leadership—I’ve stolen material from him unashamedly which I consider to be the highest compliment I can pay to a thought leader.

I’ve founded and led two training industry success stories: Lifespring and ARC International. Looking back, I feel a lot of pride and a little regret. Regret that I was not able to build companies that last, that continue to serve people and employ great staff. Pride that our seminars positively impacted the lives of over one million graduates.

It’s a longer story than what fits in this format however one leadership strength that played out in my companies was that I did everything I could to “create an environment” wherein our trainers, consultants, enrollment staff and administrators could flourish—and they did.

In your family, your company, your community, you have that opportunity. Are the people around you dancing? Your thoughts are encouraged--share them by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. To celebrate the many thoughtful responses to my recent reader survey, there's a special offer until July 30th on my "Eight Principles" home study program. Eight CDs plus an Owner's Manual, this powerful program normally sells for $195, for the next ten days just $95 including shipping and handling. Just e mail sales@extraordinarypeople.com and we'll send you a PayPal invoice you can pay with any credit or debit card.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

'Pie in the Sky' ... or Reality?

“Once we have experienced the unity and interconnectedness of all things, love is no longer the commandment, but the natural expression of our own essence. It will no longer appear as an action required of us, but as the way of being of transpersonal existence. I’m aware that this might sound a bit pie-in-the-sky for some people. Nevertheless, coexistence worthy of our humanity will remain impossible as long as we fail to experience this reality.”

Willigis Jaeger


The best comment I can make about this quote is to suggest that you read it again … and perhaps a third time. In the busy-ness of life it is of value to simply sit with some thoughts and consider that beyond our jobs, our families and trips to the market, we are here on this planet for a higher purpose.

There! I said it! Let the comments flow!

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. To celebrate the many thoughtful responses to my recent reader survey, there's a special offer until July 30th on my "Eight Principles" home study program. Eight CDs plus an Owner's Manual, this powerful program normally sells for $195, for the next ten days just $95 including shipping and handling. Just e mail sales@extraordinarypeople.com and we'll send you a PayPal invoice you can pay with any credit or debit card.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Truth and Consequences

”The truth will set you free. But first it will piss you off.”

Gloria Steinem


The language is a little “raw” however the woman knows how to make a point.

About a million years ago a formative experience in my life was attending the Mind Dynamics seminar and eventually becoming President of the company. One of many learnings from MDI founder and my teacher, the late Alexander Everett, was that “awareness is a bitch.”

I know, I know …. more inappropriate language.

One of our many choices in life is whether we are willing, on a moment to moment basis, to tell the truth about our current reality. After any possible irritating moment, the truth will, in fact, set you free.

When coaching leaders, I notice that one of the ways I best serve them is when I help them see their truth, their organization’s current reality. It is, as daughter Alicia says, “way fun.”

What’s your truth for the moment? Let us know with your comments below!

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Perspective is Everything!

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, The young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."


This unattributed little story is a departure from my “quote plus comment” pattern. I really liked the story and thought you’d enjoy it.

It points out that our perspective is just that—our perspective. What we see when watching others is dependent on the clarity of the window through which we look.

Comments are welcome below!

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Mad a Few Mistakes Lately?

“Everything we enjoy in society is a direct result of the accumulated learning derived from millions of mistakes. No mistakes, no progress. Yet we still look at making a mistake as embarrassing, wrong, an act bordering on sin. If you’re making mistakes, it means you’re doing new things, taking risks, stretching yourself. You’re growing, learning. And isn't the journey, the experience, not the destination, what life is all about?”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life”
by Robert White


My practice is to refrain from commenting on quotes from my book! Of course, you can comment below.

Signed and inscribed copies of the book for yourself or as a welcomed gift are available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com

And, the Kindle edition is available from Amazon at http://tinyurl.com/23trcay

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Can You Be Mad, Sad, Glad or Afraid?

“One loses the capacity to grieve as a child grieves, or to rage as a child rages: hotly, despairingly, with tears of passion. One grows up, one becomes civilized, on learns one’s manners, and consequently can no longer manage these two functions—sorrow and anger—adequately.”

Anita Brookner


The old saying “we teach what we most need to learn” is often cited in training and executive coaching circles. It’s certainly true for me in this subject I keep coming back to in these weekly offerings: learning to recapture and expand as a responsible adult my ability to express what I really feel.

I usually reference my mentor Bob Wright of the Wright Institute in Chicago when exploring the value of becoming more literate in the language of feelings. This week I’ll reference my children, Emily and Levi. Recently we’ve been in conversation about their desire to contact their birth mother for the first time—and it may happen this summer.

A useful question when exploring feelings is “are you mad, sad, glad or afraid?” When I apply it to myself around these recent conversations I notice that what surfaces is my old anger about their birth mom’s behavior; my sadness at some of the pain they’ve endured; my joy erupting as I notice how they are maturing and growing as young adults; and my fear that the possible encounter will not go well for them.

The learning point for me—and I offer it to you for consideration—is that when we heighten our awareness about what we are feeling, when we ask that question about being mad, sad, glad or afraid, the answers are often complex and immensely valuable in our journey toward living an extraordinary life. Comments please.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. My “seminar in a box,” an 8 CD plus Owner’s Manual program about building a life of meaning and abundance is available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Battle Between Good and Evil

“The whole course of human history may depend on a change of heart in one solitary and even humble individual – for it is in the solitary mind and soul of the individual that the battle between good and evil is waged and ultimately won or lost.”

M. Scott Peck


In a recent conversation with dear friend Kathy we wandered into the tempting and ultimately self-indulgent and intellectually questionable territory of “when we were young things were better.”

Oh! And when I was five years old I walked seven miles in the snow to get to my one-room schoolhouse with a single pot bellied stove. NOT!

After some reflection, my current conclusion is that there was some truth in that conversation with Kathy and it dealt with what we perceived as an erosion of some positive, life-affirming values. One of those values that needs reaffirmation and expansion is personal responsibility—owning the reality we create instead of blaming or crediting a group or an all-knowing, all-powerful leader or the moon and the stars.

It is, as author Scott Peck says, ultimately our “solitary mind and soul” that chooses good or evil in every moment. As always, let us know what you’re reflecting on by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. You can follow me on Twitter @xtraordnryrob A recent video offering was great fun with deeper meaning. Go to http://ht.ly/1YzBw

P.P.S. My friends at Give Kids the World serve 7,000 families with a seriously ill child each year. They’re in the running to qualify for a $250,000 grant to refresh their original buildings in Florida. You can help with your vote daily at #pepsirefresh http://pep.si/99xLfz Please join me in supporting this worthwhile effort.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Are You a Sheep or a Lion?

“I am more afraid of an army of one hundred sheep led by a lion than of an army of one hundred lions led by a sheep.”

Charles Maurice deTalleyrand-Perigord


Do you feel the challenge inherent in these stirring words? I do!

My 90 minute, half and full day programs on leadership include the assertion that broadly based leadership is more needed today than ever before.

Waiting for someone else to lead – in your personal life, your family, your work or your community – is no longer an adequate response to the challenges and opportunities before us.

If you’d like to learn more about my work with individuals and organizations in developing current and future leaders, just e mail me at Robert@ExtraordinaryPeople.com or call me directly at (303) 993-4640 or reach me on Skype at Robert.White65.

Dialogue, as always, is welcome by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What Makes You Come Alive?


"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Howard Thurman


I love this quote! Share your thoughts about it or a quote you love by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Wisdom from Bessie at 104 Years

“I thought I could change the world. It took me a hundred years to figure out that I can’t change the world. I can only change Bessie. And, honey, that ain’t easy either.”

Annie Elizabeth “Bessie” Delany
(at 104 years of age)


Some of these quotes are only diminished by any comments from me. This might be one of them.

Enjoy!

And let us all know of any of your hard-earned life lessons by commenting below!

With love and respect,

Robert

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Truth

“The truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it; ignorance may deride it; malice may distort it; but there it is.”

Sir Winston Churchill


One of our “Eight Elements of Personal and Organizational Effectiveness” is to BE HONEST – to tell the truth first to yourself and then to others.

Some of us have become somewhat desensitized to dishonesty. If you are into excuses , they abound in this domain! Some advertisers, the person doing repair work on our home or automobile, politicians ….. and many more examples, model deception if not outright lying. This has the unfortunate side effect of generating a culture where truly being honest is more and more the exception, certainly not the rule.

Lots of “stuff” clears up in our personal and professional lives when we simply tell the truth. Let me know your truth by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Magic of Conflict

“In a conflict we must move from a point of view to a viewing point”

Tom Crum from The Magic of Conflict


I’m a big fan of Tom Crum, his seminars and his books. It occurs to me that this simple sentence has profound meaning and value. These are words that you either just “get” or they might require a seminar experience!

There’s a lot of conflict today at all levels of human interaction. For greater peace of mind and more harmonious families, organizations and nations, we need to develop greater awareness of conflict, its sources and how to successfully defuse it. You could start with Tom’s book...Available at http://aikiworks.com/products.html.

With love and respect,

Robert

Friday, May 7, 2010

5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe)

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.

Pour in the milk and oil and mix well..

Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.

Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.

The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.

EAT ! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).

And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world? Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

Responses to my "Love and Respect" Question

Thought, humorous, edgy, loving .... the variety of responses here and in the "comments" section are amazing and appreciated.

Enjoy!

and with love and respect,

Robert



I think it adds warmth and depth to your already thought provoking emails. Most business people leave the love and respect out, thinking it's not necessary to "get things done" when in fact that it is the secret behind the why and the how.


I understand his point when dealing with strangers. Nevertheless, it is the essence of you and your wisdom -- and I personally, as I think I once told you, have always thought it lovely and meaningful. Do you think: "Retain me and send cash" is too crass?


Well Robert – it makes me feel cared for by you when I read the words….I personally love and respect my clients and they know it by the way I treat them. Isn’t love all there is in life – really!!


I like it. I wish more business people had the courage to use words like "love." Can't imagine what the objection to "respect" might be...


I would sign my emails to you with the same words except that you already use them. I like what you say, so my recommendation is too keep them. If you did not, I might think it was coming from someone using your name.


Robert, I wish there were more love and respect in the business world! I'm sure your friend meant well but he/she is simply off base. You teach us to be who we are. Keep the message.


Personally, I have always found the closing wish of love and respect to be inspiring and a reminder to myself that-- even if I may disagree with the addressee on some point of content or style -- we are all, as Ram Dass said, "One in Drag."


I like being loved and respected. I vote you keep using them, and keep sending me your emails. I read them all and they uplift me every time they arrive. Thank you.


Doesn’t bother me, although I have to admit that I’ve thought respect is a bit subsumed under love and therefore redundant.


I have often said that "love" is the word that should be used more,,,,but it seems used less!For the work we all do-you are right on!! Your friend may need more love!


"With Love and Respect" is an authentic expression of the human named Robert White. To change the expression to something else which is more acceptable to another is to deny aliveness. An act you counsel against at the core of your ministry. A dishonest behavior.


your "friend" should consider the facts that you are you and he is he. Words don't define a man, actions do. So, in my book, "love and respect" reflect who you are and what you do.


I vote for Love and Respect. I believe it shows your sincerity, etc. No change. People who do business are people. You are in the people business. It shows you are in touch with reality. There is too little love and respect now days. You love your fellowman. what's to be namby pamby about. I could go on but no point. KEEP the love and respect. Your business associate is one man's opinion. Keep movin forward you are great and I appreciate your e-mails


I am in most ways a person you would call Mr Business and without throwing out a useless pun I love with love and respect. Keep it up.


Regarding the sign-off, "with love and respect," if I had never met you, I might find it a bit personal. And - I have met you, in a small-group presentation. That sign-off seems completely in character and I am not at all put off.


Robert, keep the sign off….it is uniquely you and very powerful….it certainly is my experience of you despite our go-arounds from time to time. Perhaps your friend needs more love in his life.


I guess I can see where your friend is coming from, but it has never occurred to me that this “sign off” was inappropriate in any way. However, I’m a pretty “touchy/feely” kind of guy and therefore this does not register as inappropriate. However, those of the more hardened composition may be taken back by this; although it would be good for them to use the word “love” more often in their daily interactions.

Bologna. That is my response. (ha!) I would not change your signature response – it is filled with your authenticity and it comes through. So he is not into love, huh? You might ask him how that is working for him. 


I love it! Please continue.


I in fact, DID notice it right away the first time a good friend forwarded me one of your emails (to which I subsequently subscribed on my own.) I personally LOVE it. I was struck by it the first time I saw it (in a positive way) and found myself entertaining the idea of adopting something similar for my own "sign off." I think if we all treated each other with love and respect, one by one we would help to create making the world a more peaceful and loving place. Every time I read one of your emails and see your sign off "with love and respect" it strikes a chord in me -- I feel respected and honored and feel inclined to pass that on to someone else. Please don't change it because some "business person" thinks it's inappropriate. Hooey, I say! With love and respect to you too!


Keep it. It's highly effective, person to person, and it helps the week's medicine go down.


Living in Hawaii…. It is normal to use “aloha” for good bye, hello, etc. Which means …. Full of life, breath, love, etc. The two words used together are fine. I can always use both. Thanks for your thoughts…. I don’t always agree or disagree with what you send, but always thought provoking. If individuals don’t “unsubscribe”, then they are not put off. Aloha…..


Here is my two cents - Don't Stop using that sign off. In the world of "business" we forget the humanity, which is really what makes up the business. When I see your "love and respect" I feel both. It makes my day.

I find that some people are uncomfortable with the terms Love and Compassion, yet throw around Passion or Passionate without thought. I feel the world needs more Love, Compassion and Passion.


I do notice & I think your valediction is just right. Good work, Robert!


I like your sign-off and wouldn't change a thing because, knowing you as I do, it comes from your heart. From my perspective, those who are "put off" are afraid to use the word Love in business. This speaks of their reluctance to acknowledge that Love is the basis of everything including them, other people, business, etc. I also understand the reasons about not using the word Love in business but personally thing they are misguided. Go for it!


ABSOLUTELY NOT! I love it. I think love and respect are sorely missing in this culture at this point in time. Please don't stop! With LOVE and RESPECT,


Perhaps the person who made the comment to you was talking more about themselves than to you. It seems businesses have reduced themselves to the level of least uncomfortable for everybody and call it "politically correct." Looking at the condition of US business and government, the words at the end of the letter are merely a form and tell nothing about the true sentiments of the writer. If business people and politicians had to be honest, maybe they would sign "With greed and deception", "WIIFM", etc.

I know the words "With love and respect" for you are not a form nor did they come without the price of self introspection and facing your real values as a person. When you decided to end your letters with those words, perhaps you gave some real thought to why you wanted to use them and decided to take the risk.

So, I say, keep doing it. Somebody's got to tell the truth and take a risk to go beyond the form of political correctness and inject something real into our communications. Maybe it will spark somebody to shift themselves by struggling with their own uncomfortableness.


He's right. Love and respect are terrible ways to set a tone. WhatEVER. Beyond that, it's your sign-off. Whatever tone is in the content of your e-mail should already be set by that point, so just a retarded supposition. I'm shocked you even took this comment seriously. Wow.


This is in response to your extraordinary minute posting today. I believe your "business" advisor is unfortunately suggesting that Love and Respect do not belong in "business" communications. It might be helpful for you to suggest that he/she read David Whyte's book The Heart Aroused: Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America" It is the very separation of the self from business that has created much of the turmoil we see today in our world. The notion that our core values of love and respect have no place in the workplace is at the root of our difficulties.

I might take it a step further, in our race for the legal tender, we are not embodying the qualities of love and respect in our larger society either, inside or outside of the “work” environment. Words have power, value and meaning. I, for one appreciate your salutation, I also appreciate your courage for using those specific words. If we are not here for love, what are we here for, to make money? Is that our highest purpose? If we cannot respect one another, (and say so directly) what kind of a society are we creating?

On occasion, I have used "in health and happiness" to sign off my communications. I often get excellent feedback from business colleagues that they appreciate the reminder that health and happiness can be part of a daily work routine. Imagine that! ...offered with genuine love and respect!


I see nothing wrong with that at all.


! I have often wondered what the "respect" meant for you and the words have always stood out, but I never thought negatively about them. How can someone have an issue about "love" and "respect"...I think it is more about a projection for them, than about you or your message. I think in today's busy world, respect makes sense...respect for someone's time to read your words and it suggests humility on your part. You can always try "disrespect," but that may not go over too well. Maybe you should end each letter based on how you are feeling that day if it is different from these words.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

"With Love and Respect"


“With love and respect”


I’ve signed thousands of messages with these words and recently a friend whose business advice I value suggested I cease using them at the end of my Extraordinary Minute e mails. He feels they suggest the wrong “tone” for my business oriented readers.

I’ve got my “reasons and intentions” for using this particular sign-off yet sharing them might prevent your valuable feedback. Are you put off by these words? Do you notice them at all? Do you have a suggestion for a better choice? Please let me know by commenting below. I’ll be grateful...and for now,

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Where's the Real Leverage for Change?

“Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men is primarily based on mutual trust and only secondarily on institutions such as courts of justice and police.”

Albert Einstein


Recently I’ve been in dialogue with several friends about leadership leading to transformative change. Lots of great communication and for me, a reminder of what is becoming a core belief: only by changing hearts and minds do we progress, as individuals, groups, companies or as a society. No governmental or organizational edict has ever been as effective as a shift in our essential ground of being and resulting actions.

That might be enough to chew on for this week—or a lifetime.

Your thoughts are welcome, even encouraged by commenting below. And you’re also encouraged to share this message with your network.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Knowledge vs. Wisdom

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life.”

Sandra Carey


I want to grow in both knowledge and wisdom. Sometimes I self-evaluate as doing one or the other; unfortunately, less often I do both.

The actress Bette Davis said “getting old is not for sissies.” I mostly agree with that statement however it does leave out the incredible potential value of growing in wisdom as we grow in years.

Participate in the dialogue by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. And yet another plea for your support in expanding the number of people enjoying “An Extraordinary Minute:” Just forward this message to your friends, family and colleagues with your personal recommendation and a suggestion to go to http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com (at the bottom of the page) to register for their f*ee gift and the on-going f*ee “Extraordinary Minute.”

I deeply appreciate your support.

Robert

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson

I


I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

In keeping with my “read in one minute” commitment, I’ll just remind you that comments are welcome below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. People report enjoyment and value from this weekly e mail. Can you help me expand my readership? Just forward this link to your friends, family and colleagues with your personal recommendation and a suggestion to go to www.ExtraordinaryBook.com (at the bottom of the page) to register for their free gift and the on-going free “Extraordinary Minute.” I deeply appreciate your support!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Thinking What Nobody Has Thought

"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought."

Albert Szent



Regular readers will notice …. that I’m a big proponent of developing an “advanced state of noticing.”

Current culture seems to encourage and even celebrate fixed perspectives, solid ways of interpreting information from within and without our various environments. While this approach engenders some degree of “being right,” even bliss, it shuts off our uniquely human ability to simultaneously hold contrasting ideas and thus really learn something new. I further assert that regularly “learning something new” is a requirement if you want to perform at a high level in a fast changing world.

Speaking of “being right” and the risk/reward result of that human frailty, many readers of my book, “Living an Extraordinary Life,” have commented on the value they received from a fuller explanation of this idea. This gives me the excuse to announce that in addition to the availability of a signed copy of the Fourth Printing of the book at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com, you can now obtain the Kindle edition for only $9.99 at http://tinyurl.com/yd98hjk

That’s it for my commercial … and for this week’s Extraordinary Minute! Your thoughts are always welcome by leaving a comment below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

All Will Be Well

"All will be well, and all will be well, in all manner of things all will be well."

Julian of Norwich (17th century English nun)


Dear friend Chris Pelley shared this wonderful prayer and affirmation with me at a time when I needed to hear it.

So I share it with you for whenever you might find it useful.

Do you have a favorite quote, aphorism or affirmation you’d like to share? Please do so by clicking on "post comments" below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Sorrow and Delight


“When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

Khalil Gibran


Almost everyone’s favorite poet – OK, Rumi might be a candidate for that – Gibran shares a powerful truth here.

I’ve had two close friends suffer much sorrow in their lives recently--one with the death of a deeply loved wife and one with the death of a daughter-in-law. I recognize that it is so much easier to advise someone else about how to handle grief than it is to work through it myself. As I thought about and prayed for them over the recent holidays, this quote was helpful in my process.

I believe their sorrow was truly sourced in the delight with which they celebrated their relationships while on this physical plane. And isn’t that a great way to remember relationships that have changed their form through death or separation or distance?

Your thoughts, as always, are welcome -- just click on "comments" below.
With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

What Do You Live For?

“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, and ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”

Thomas Merton



I keep a framed copy of an essay by Oriah Mountain Dreamer in my office. It begins with some similar words and both authors express something about our longing for a more meaningful life experience.

This is a quote I recommend reading more than once. Or post it a place where you’ll have the opportunity to reflect on it daily.

What do you live for? What stops you? Share with all of us by clicking on "comments" below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Thursday, March 11, 2010

An Extraordinary Day with Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Serving on the board of the Desmond Tutu Peace Foundation has been a labor of love, frustrating, exciting, rewarding, just plain hard work, expensive (multiple trips from my home in Colorado to New York City), educational ..... so many different adjectives and experiences.

The vision for me is to simultaneously work to foster an environment of peace; to extend the legacy of peace building (ubuntu) modeled by the Archbishop; and to honor the memory of my friend, the late John Denver--who signed a million (?) autographs with just one word: PEACE!

On Tuesday I once again went through "the drill" of a trip to New York. This time was different from the moment I chose to attend because Archbishop Tutu and Mrs. Tutu would be present for our meeting. Packing was different. Choosing small gifts was different--I brought them copies of our books One World, One People and One World One Child. Traveling was different. My anticipation grew and grew with an almost childlike excitement.

Being with the Archbishop was a highlight in my life. He embodies peace and love just "being." From his opening prayer and acknowledgement of our work through some challenging "business" discussions about the future of the Foundation and through to a heartfelt closing of the meeting, I felt so honored to be in his presence and to be working with him in the cause of peace.

I've met three US Presidents, two Kings and an Emperor. While living in Aspen, I met countless actors, entertainers and captains of industry. Yet I've only been with a few people in my life who touched me at the heart level and enveloped me in their loving spirit. Desmond Tutu is one of them and I am so very grateful to those who have supported me in my journey to this cherished moment and memory.

I helped the Archbishop and Mrs. Tutu into their car on busy East 64th St., removed his gift to me from my briefcase (an inscribed and signed Holy Bible), held it to my heart and wept tears of joy while people streamed around me. It was a very special experience and I wanted to share it with you.

Robert

A Selfless Regard for Reality?

“How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.”

Abraham Lincoln


Perhaps our most admired American President earned the nickname of Honest Abe. In this quote, he speaks quite directly to our ability to tell the truth—even when we would like to retreat into delusion of self or others.

All of the speaking, training and coaching work I’m doing involves three steps:

1. Clearing the past – muting the effects of blame, shame, regret, guilt … all those experiences that act as lead weights around our consciousness

2. Telling the truth about current reality—or what the Buddhists call developing a selfless regard for reality.

3. Choosing our future—independent of our past and even our current reality

That #2 can be more challenging than it first appears and, of course, that’s where my work really begins!

You or I cannot meaningfully progress in life unless we really know where we are right now—strengths, areas of growth, opportunities and much, much more.

Have you got a good story about calling a tail a leg and what was the cost/benefit of holding on to it? Share with us by clicking on "comments" below.

With love and respect,

Robert
________________________________________

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

How Do You Define Success?

“When everything in your life centers around that which is most important to you, you’ve reached success”

Misti Burmeister

I believe this quote is from my friend Misti’s book, “From Boomers to Bloggers,” where she delivers some powerful advice for those attempting to maximize effectiveness in work cultures that include different generations.

She presumes here that we’ve identified what is “most important” to us. Knowing what is most important is a good foundation for making better choices and having our lives aligned to our deeper purpose and vision.

How do you define success? Let us know!

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Deadening Effects of Habits



“Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.”

William Somerset Maugham

I don’t know who counseled that life should be “lived out loud” but clearly they were in synch with W. S. Maugham. I notice that my tendency is to fall into a sort of modulated life experience—safe but dissatisfying and boring. Sometimes some “excess” to snap out of it is called for and very productive.

How do you produce exhilaration for your life and work? Let us know by commenting!

With love and respect,

Robert

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Can You be a "Master of Hardships?"



“A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships.”

Helen Keller


Those who knew her say she had a huge ego and was often a bit “prickly” to be with. That said, she was uniquely qualified to comment on mastering hardship.

I continue to be inspired by clients, family and friends who are successfully handling hardship these days. Their stories and example buoy my spirits and, if our media was truly interested in contributing to a better world, those stories should be shouted from the rooftops.

Seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing. My recommendation is to seek out those people and circumstances that reinforce life affirming beliefs and attitudes. After all, it’s your personal choice of how you maintain your inner being. Why not choose extraordinary environments? Comments are welcome!


With love and respect,

Robert

A personal note:

I have openings in my Extraordinary Coaching Program. Hit reply and let me know if you feel you might benefit from a conversation about your goals and how I might support you in living an extraordinary life.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Is it Work or WORK?



“Even if our organizations fail to communicate the deeper purpose and meaning of work, even if the culture is non-supportive of work and promotes a victim culture, every individual can still choose to find a deeper meaning in their work thus releasing spirit … and enthusiasm.”

Robert White


As always, I don’t comment on my own words—and offer them for whatever contribution they may make to your life and work. And speaking of contribution, yours can be noted.

With love and respect,

Robert

Two personal notes:
I have openings in my Extraordinary Coaching Program. Comment or e mail and let me know if you feel you might benefit from a conversation about your goals and how I might support you in living an extraordinary life.

If you live in the New York City area and would be interested in a “Lunch with Robert” event on February 18th, please let me know.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

What Belief Have You Dismissed?

“Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your soul.”

Walt Whitman


Perhaps like many of you, as I’ve matured – a polite word for aging – I’ve become both more and less patient with myself. More patient with those people and circumstances that I cannot change (St. Francis of Assissi’s prayer comes to mind here!). Simultaneously, I’m less patient with my own self-limiting beliefs.

My work with people to become aware of their underlying belief systems reinforces the reality as expressed in my book (Living an Extraordinary Life available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com) that 95% of the foundation for our daily decisions is unconscious. We were programmed at a very early age by our parents, other adults and our culture to “believe” some very important concepts that influence the rest of our lives.

By becoming more aware of those beliefs even years later, we can make better choices of what to believe, what to discard and what to amplify—and in so doing, exponentially increase our sense of personal power.

Once our awareness is awakened, I really like the poet Walt Whitman’s counsel here to “dismiss what insults your soul.” It offers a fresh and very deep perspective plus a call to positive action.

What have you dismissed recently? Let us know with your comments!

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Are You Really Ready to Learn?

“Personally, I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught."

Winston Churchill

Ahhhh Sir Winnie, your wit and wisdom always seem to touch me at the heart level...and your words often make me a bit uncomfortable with their inherent truth.

I know it’s my ego, my identity as a “know-it-all” that gets in the way; yet that bit of self knowledge doesn’t seem adequate to disappear my resistance to “being taught.”

These times of rapidly accelerating changes in families, careers and the economy call for constant learning, for constant re-invention. What’s your take on why we sometimes resist being taught?

True confessions (and hopefully some insight) can be shared by commenting.

I look forward to the dialogue!

With love and respect,

Robert

Thursday, January 14, 2010

How's Your Quiet Time?

“Some of us need to discover that we will not begin to live more fully until we have the courage to do and see and taste and experience much less than usual ... And for a man who has let himself be drawn completely out of himself by his activity, nothing is more difficult than to sit still and rest, doing nothing at all. The very act of resting is the hardest and most courageous act he can perform.”

Thomas Merton

Subscribers has asked me how I choose these quotes and the answer is simple: I choose the ones that speak to me, my history, my experience, my current reality and my personal vision.

This is a good example. I know that one of my challenges is to “do and see and taste and experience much less than usual.” I teach and attempt to model an advanced state of noticing, a greater awareness of the people and experiences in my life. Where this is inadequate is pointed to by Thomas Merton. Sometimes the “noticing” needs to be what’s happening within, the quiet time our habits and culture seem to deny.

What are your practices for “going quiet?” Mine include long walks in nature. Share yours with us by commenting.

With love and respect,

Robert

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Freedom and Its Price



“All we have of freedom - all we see or know – this our fathers bought for us, long and long ago.”

Rudyard Kipling (1899)

Commenting on this quote could take us in many different directions. The one I’ll choose is to ask a simple and yet very challenging question:

What are you doing with the freedom purchased for you?

Answers welcome!

With love and respect,

Robert