Wisdom from Bessie at 104 Years

“I thought I could change the world. It took me a hundred years to figure out that I can’t change the world. I can only change Bessie. And, honey, that ain’t easy either.”

Annie Elizabeth “Bessie” Delany
(at 104 years of age)

Some of these quotes are only diminished by any comments from me. This might be one of them.

Enjoy!

And let us all know of any of your hard-earned life lessons by commenting below!

With love and respect,

Robert

The Truth

“The truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it; ignorance may deride it; malice may distort it; but there it is.”

Sir Winston Churchill

One of our “Eight Elements of Personal and Organizational Effectiveness” is to BE HONEST – to tell the truth first to yourself and then to others.

Some of us have become somewhat desensitized to dishonesty. If you are into excuses , they abound in this domain! Some advertisers, the person doing repair work on our home or automobile, politicians ….. and many more examples, model deception if not outright lying. This has the unfortunate side effect of generating a culture where truly being honest is more and more the exception, certainly not the rule.

Lots of “stuff” clears up in our personal and professional lives when we simply tell the truth. Let me know your truth by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

The Magic of Conflict

“In a conflict we must move from a point of view to a viewing point”

Tom Crum from The Magic of Conflict

I’m a big fan of Tom Crum, his seminars and his books. It occurs to me that this simple sentence has profound meaning and value. These are words that you either just “get” or they might require a seminar experience!

There’s a lot of conflict today at all levels of human interaction. For greater peace of mind and more harmonious families, organizations and nations, we need to develop greater awareness of conflict, its sources and how to successfully defuse it. You could start with Tom’s book...Available at http://aikiworks.com/products.html.

With love and respect,

Robert

5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe)

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.

Pour in the milk and oil and mix well..

Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.

Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.

The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.

EAT ! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).

And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world? Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

Responses to my "Love and Respect" Question

Thought, humorous, edgy, loving .... the variety of responses here and in the "comments" section are amazing and appreciated.

Enjoy!

and with love and respect,

Robert


I think it adds warmth and depth to your already thought provoking emails. Most business people leave the love and respect out, thinking it's not necessary to "get things done" when in fact that it is the secret behind the why and the how.


I understand his point when dealing with strangers. Nevertheless, it is the essence of you and your wisdom -- and I personally, as I think I once told you, have always thought it lovely and meaningful. Do you think: "Retain me and send cash" is too crass?


Well Robert – it makes me feel cared for by you when I read the words….I personally love and respect my clients and they know it by the way I treat them. Isn’t love all there is in life – really!!


I like it. I wish more business people had the courage to use words like "love." Can't imagine what the objection to "respect" might be...


I would sign my emails to you with the same words except that you already use them. I like what you say, so my recommendation is too keep them. If you did not, I might think it was coming from someone using your name.


Robert, I wish there were more love and respect in the business world! I'm sure your friend meant well but he/she is simply off base. You teach us to be who we are. Keep the message.


Personally, I have always found the closing wish of love and respect to be inspiring and a reminder to myself that-- even if I may disagree with the addressee on some point of content or style -- we are all, as Ram Dass said, "One in Drag."


I like being loved and respected. I vote you keep using them, and keep sending me your emails. I read them all and they uplift me every time they arrive. Thank you.


Doesn’t bother me, although I have to admit that I’ve thought respect is a bit subsumed under love and therefore redundant.


I have often said that "love" is the word that should be used more,,,,but it seems used less!For the work we all do-you are right on!! Your friend may need more love!


"With Love and Respect" is an authentic expression of the human named Robert White. To change the expression to something else which is more acceptable to another is to deny aliveness. An act you counsel against at the core of your ministry. A dishonest behavior.


your "friend" should consider the facts that you are you and he is he. Words don't define a man, actions do. So, in my book, "love and respect" reflect who you are and what you do.


I vote for Love and Respect. I believe it shows your sincerity, etc. No change. People who do business are people. You are in the people business. It shows you are in touch with reality. There is too little love and respect now days. You love your fellowman. what's to be namby pamby about. I could go on but no point. KEEP the love and respect. Your business associate is one man's opinion. Keep movin forward you are great and I appreciate your e-mails


I am in most ways a person you would call Mr Business and without throwing out a useless pun I love with love and respect. Keep it up.


Regarding the sign-off, "with love and respect," if I had never met you, I might find it a bit personal. And - I have met you, in a small-group presentation. That sign-off seems completely in character and I am not at all put off.


Robert, keep the sign off….it is uniquely you and very powerful….it certainly is my experience of you despite our go-arounds from time to time. Perhaps your friend needs more love in his life.


I guess I can see where your friend is coming from, but it has never occurred to me that this “sign off” was inappropriate in any way. However, I’m a pretty “touchy/feely” kind of guy and therefore this does not register as inappropriate. However, those of the more hardened composition may be taken back by this; although it would be good for them to use the word “love” more often in their daily interactions.

Bologna. That is my response. (ha!) I would not change your signature response – it is filled with your authenticity and it comes through. So he is not into love, huh? You might ask him how that is working for him. 


I love it! Please continue.


I in fact, DID notice it right away the first time a good friend forwarded me one of your emails (to which I subsequently subscribed on my own.) I personally LOVE it. I was struck by it the first time I saw it (in a positive way) and found myself entertaining the idea of adopting something similar for my own "sign off." I think if we all treated each other with love and respect, one by one we would help to create making the world a more peaceful and loving place. Every time I read one of your emails and see your sign off "with love and respect" it strikes a chord in me -- I feel respected and honored and feel inclined to pass that on to someone else. Please don't change it because some "business person" thinks it's inappropriate. Hooey, I say! With love and respect to you too!


Keep it. It's highly effective, person to person, and it helps the week's medicine go down.


Living in Hawaii…. It is normal to use “aloha” for good bye, hello, etc. Which means …. Full of life, breath, love, etc. The two words used together are fine. I can always use both. Thanks for your thoughts…. I don’t always agree or disagree with what you send, but always thought provoking. If individuals don’t “unsubscribe”, then they are not put off. Aloha…..


Here is my two cents - Don't Stop using that sign off. In the world of "business" we forget the humanity, which is really what makes up the business. When I see your "love and respect" I feel both. It makes my day.

I find that some people are uncomfortable with the terms Love and Compassion, yet throw around Passion or Passionate without thought. I feel the world needs more Love, Compassion and Passion.


I do notice & I think your valediction is just right. Good work, Robert!


I like your sign-off and wouldn't change a thing because, knowing you as I do, it comes from your heart. From my perspective, those who are "put off" are afraid to use the word Love in business. This speaks of their reluctance to acknowledge that Love is the basis of everything including them, other people, business, etc. I also understand the reasons about not using the word Love in business but personally thing they are misguided. Go for it!


ABSOLUTELY NOT! I love it. I think love and respect are sorely missing in this culture at this point in time. Please don't stop! With LOVE and RESPECT,


Perhaps the person who made the comment to you was talking more about themselves than to you. It seems businesses have reduced themselves to the level of least uncomfortable for everybody and call it "politically correct." Looking at the condition of US business and government, the words at the end of the letter are merely a form and tell nothing about the true sentiments of the writer. If business people and politicians had to be honest, maybe they would sign "With greed and deception", "WIIFM", etc.

I know the words "With love and respect" for you are not a form nor did they come without the price of self introspection and facing your real values as a person. When you decided to end your letters with those words, perhaps you gave some real thought to why you wanted to use them and decided to take the risk.

So, I say, keep doing it. Somebody's got to tell the truth and take a risk to go beyond the form of political correctness and inject something real into our communications. Maybe it will spark somebody to shift themselves by struggling with their own uncomfortableness.


He's right. Love and respect are terrible ways to set a tone. WhatEVER. Beyond that, it's your sign-off. Whatever tone is in the content of your e-mail should already be set by that point, so just a retarded supposition. I'm shocked you even took this comment seriously. Wow.


This is in response to your extraordinary minute posting today. I believe your "business" advisor is unfortunately suggesting that Love and Respect do not belong in "business" communications. It might be helpful for you to suggest that he/she read David Whyte's book The Heart Aroused: Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America" It is the very separation of the self from business that has created much of the turmoil we see today in our world. The notion that our core values of love and respect have no place in the workplace is at the root of our difficulties.

I might take it a step further, in our race for the legal tender, we are not embodying the qualities of love and respect in our larger society either, inside or outside of the “work” environment. Words have power, value and meaning. I, for one appreciate your salutation, I also appreciate your courage for using those specific words. If we are not here for love, what are we here for, to make money? Is that our highest purpose? If we cannot respect one another, (and say so directly) what kind of a society are we creating?

On occasion, I have used "in health and happiness" to sign off my communications. I often get excellent feedback from business colleagues that they appreciate the reminder that health and happiness can be part of a daily work routine. Imagine that! ...offered with genuine love and respect!


I see nothing wrong with that at all.


! I have often wondered what the "respect" meant for you and the words have always stood out, but I never thought negatively about them. How can someone have an issue about "love" and "respect"...I think it is more about a projection for them, than about you or your message. I think in today's busy world, respect makes sense...respect for someone's time to read your words and it suggests humility on your part. You can always try "disrespect," but that may not go over too well. Maybe you should end each letter based on how you are feeling that day if it is different from these words.

"With Love and Respect"

“With love and respect”

I’ve signed thousands of messages with these words and recently a friend whose business advice I value suggested I cease using them at the end of my Extraordinary Minute e mails. He feels they suggest the wrong “tone” for my business oriented readers.

I’ve got my “reasons and intentions” for using this particular sign-off yet sharing them might prevent your valuable feedback. Are you put off by these words? Do you notice them at all? Do you have a suggestion for a better choice? Please let me know by commenting below. I’ll be grateful...and for now,

With love and respect,

Robert

Where's the Real Leverage for Change?

“Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men is primarily based on mutual trust and only secondarily on institutions such as courts of justice and police.”

Albert Einstein

Recently I’ve been in dialogue with several friends about leadership leading to transformative change. Lots of great communication and for me, a reminder of what is becoming a core belief: only by changing hearts and minds do we progress, as individuals, groups, companies or as a society. No governmental or organizational edict has ever been as effective as a shift in our essential ground of being and resulting actions.

That might be enough to chew on for this week—or a lifetime.

Your thoughts are welcome, even encouraged by commenting below. And you’re also encouraged to share this message with your network.

With love and respect,

Robert

Knowledge vs. Wisdom

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life.”

Sandra Carey

I want to grow in both knowledge and wisdom. Sometimes I self-evaluate as doing one or the other; unfortunately, less often I do both.

The actress Bette Davis said “getting old is not for sissies.” I mostly agree with that statement however it does leave out the incredible potential value of growing in wisdom as we grow in years.

Participate in the dialogue by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. And yet another plea for your support in expanding the number of people enjoying “An Extraordinary Minute:” Just forward this message to your friends, family and colleagues with your personal recommendation and a suggestion to go to http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com (at the bottom of the page) to register for their f*ee gift and the on-going f*ee “Extraordinary Minute.”

I deeply appreciate your support.

Robert

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

In keeping with my “read in one minute” commitment, I’ll just remind you that comments are welcome below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. People report enjoyment and value from this weekly e mail. Can you help me expand my readership? Just forward this link to your friends, family and colleagues with your personal recommendation and a suggestion to go to www.ExtraordinaryBook.com (at the bottom of the page) to register for their free gift and the on-going free “Extraordinary Minute.” I deeply appreciate your support!

Thinking What Nobody Has Thought

"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought."

Albert Szent


Regular readers will notice …. that I’m a big proponent of developing an “advanced state of noticing.”

Current culture seems to encourage and even celebrate fixed perspectives, solid ways of interpreting information from within and without our various environments. While this approach engenders some degree of “being right,” even bliss, it shuts off our uniquely human ability to simultaneously hold contrasting ideas and thus really learn something new. I further assert that regularly “learning something new” is a requirement if you want to perform at a high level in a fast changing world.

Speaking of “being right” and the risk/reward result of that human frailty, many readers of my book, “Living an Extraordinary Life,” have commented on the value they received from a fuller explanation of this idea. This gives me the excuse to announce that in addition to the availability of a signed copy of the Fourth Printing of the book at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com, you can now obtain the Kindle edition for only $9.99 at http://tinyurl.com/yd98hjk

That’s it for my commercial … and for this week’s Extraordinary Minute! Your thoughts are always welcome by leaving a comment below.

With love and respect,

Robert

All Will Be Well

"All will be well, and all will be well, in all manner of things all will be well."

Julian of Norwich (17th century English nun)

Dear friend Chris Pelley shared this wonderful prayer and affirmation with me at a time when I needed to hear it.

So I share it with you for whenever you might find it useful.

Do you have a favorite quote, aphorism or affirmation you’d like to share? Please do so by clicking on "post comments" below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Sorrow and Delight

“When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

Khalil Gibran

Almost everyone’s favorite poet – OK, Rumi might be a candidate for that – Gibran shares a powerful truth here.

I’ve had two close friends suffer much sorrow in their lives recently--one with the death of a deeply loved wife and one with the death of a daughter-in-law. I recognize that it is so much easier to advise someone else about how to handle grief than it is to work through it myself. As I thought about and prayed for them over the recent holidays, this quote was helpful in my process.

I believe their sorrow was truly sourced in the delight with which they celebrated their relationships while on this physical plane. And isn’t that a great way to remember relationships that have changed their form through death or separation or distance?

Your thoughts, as always, are welcome -- just click on "comments" below.
With love and respect,

Robert

What Do You Live For?

“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, and ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”

Thomas Merton


I keep a framed copy of an essay by Oriah Mountain Dreamer in my office. It begins with some similar words and both authors express something about our longing for a more meaningful life experience.

This is a quote I recommend reading more than once. Or post it a place where you’ll have the opportunity to reflect on it daily.

What do you live for? What stops you? Share with all of us by clicking on "comments" below.

With love and respect,

Robert

An Extraordinary Day with Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Serving on the board of the Desmond Tutu Peace Foundation has been a labor of love, frustrating, exciting, rewarding, just plain hard work, expensive (multiple trips from my home in Colorado to New York City), educational ..... so many different adjectives and experiences.

The vision for me is to simultaneously work to foster an environment of peace; to extend the legacy of peace building (ubuntu) modeled by the Archbishop; and to honor the memory of my friend, the late John Denver--who signed a million (?) autographs with just one word: PEACE!

On Tuesday I once again went through "the drill" of a trip to New York. This time was different from the moment I chose to attend because Archbishop Tutu and Mrs. Tutu would be present for our meeting. Packing was different. Choosing small gifts was different--I brought them copies of our books One World, One People and One World One Child. Traveling was different. My anticipation grew and grew with an almost childlike excitement.

Being with the Archbishop was a highlight in my life. He embodies peace and love just "being." From his opening prayer and acknowledgement of our work through some challenging "business" discussions about the future of the Foundation and through to a heartfelt closing of the meeting, I felt so honored to be in his presence and to be working with him in the cause of peace.

I've met three US Presidents, two Kings and an Emperor. While living in Aspen, I met countless actors, entertainers and captains of industry. Yet I've only been with a few people in my life who touched me at the heart level and enveloped me in their loving spirit. Desmond Tutu is one of them and I am so very grateful to those who have supported me in my journey to this cherished moment and memory.

I helped the Archbishop and Mrs. Tutu into their car on busy East 64th St., removed his gift to me from my briefcase (an inscribed and signed Holy Bible), held it to my heart and wept tears of joy while people streamed around me. It was a very special experience and I wanted to share it with you.

Robert

A Selfless Regard for Reality?

“How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.”

Abraham Lincoln

Perhaps our most admired American President earned the nickname of Honest Abe. In this quote, he speaks quite directly to our ability to tell the truth—even when we would like to retreat into delusion of self or others.

All of the speaking, training and coaching work I’m doing involves three steps:

1. Clearing the past – muting the effects of blame, shame, regret, guilt … all those experiences that act as lead weights around our consciousness

2. Telling the truth about current reality—or what the Buddhists call developing a selfless regard for reality.

3. Choosing our future—independent of our past and even our current reality

That #2 can be more challenging than it first appears and, of course, that’s where my work really begins!

You or I cannot meaningfully progress in life unless we really know where we are right now—strengths, areas of growth, opportunities and much, much more.

Have you got a good story about calling a tail a leg and what was the cost/benefit of holding on to it? Share with us by clicking on "comments" below.

With love and respect,

Robert
________________________________________

How Do You Define Success?

“When everything in your life centers around that which is most important to you, you’ve reached success”

Misti Burmeister

I believe this quote is from my friend Misti’s book, “From Boomers to Bloggers,” where she delivers some powerful advice for those attempting to maximize effectiveness in work cultures that include different generations.

She presumes here that we’ve identified what is “most important” to us. Knowing what is most important is a good foundation for making better choices and having our lives aligned to our deeper purpose and vision.

How do you define success? Let us know!

With love and respect,

Robert

The Deadening Effects of Habits

“Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.”

William Somerset Maugham

I don’t know who counseled that life should be “lived out loud” but clearly they were in synch with W. S. Maugham. I notice that my tendency is to fall into a sort of modulated life experience—safe but dissatisfying and boring. Sometimes some “excess” to snap out of it is called for and very productive.

How do you produce exhilaration for your life and work? Let us know by commenting!

With love and respect,

Robert

Can You be a "Master of Hardships?"

“A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships.”

Helen Keller


Those who knew her say she had a huge ego and was often a bit “prickly” to be with. That said, she was uniquely qualified to comment on mastering hardship.

I continue to be inspired by clients, family and friends who are successfully handling hardship these days. Their stories and example buoy my spirits and, if our media was truly interested in contributing to a better world, those stories should be shouted from the rooftops.

Seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing. My recommendation is to seek out those people and circumstances that reinforce life affirming beliefs and attitudes. After all, it’s your personal choice of how you maintain your inner being. Why not choose extraordinary environments? Comments are welcome!


With love and respect,

Robert

A personal note:

I have openings in my Extraordinary Coaching Program. Hit reply and let me know if you feel you might benefit from a conversation about your goals and how I might support you in living an extraordinary life.

Is it Work or WORK?

“Even if our organizations fail to communicate the deeper purpose and meaning of work, even if the culture is non-supportive of work and promotes a victim culture, every individual can still choose to find a deeper meaning in their work thus releasing spirit … and enthusiasm.”

Robert White


As always, I don’t comment on my own words—and offer them for whatever contribution they may make to your life and work. And speaking of contribution, yours can be noted.

With love and respect,

Robert

Two personal notes:
I have openings in my Extraordinary Coaching Program. Comment or e mail and let me know if you feel you might benefit from a conversation about your goals and how I might support you in living an extraordinary life.

If you live in the New York City area and would be interested in a “Lunch with Robert” event on February 18th, please let me know.

What Belief Have You Dismissed?

“Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your soul.”

Walt Whitman


Perhaps like many of you, as I’ve matured – a polite word for aging – I’ve become both more and less patient with myself. More patient with those people and circumstances that I cannot change (St. Francis of Assissi’s prayer comes to mind here!). Simultaneously, I’m less patient with my own self-limiting beliefs.

My work with people to become aware of their underlying belief systems reinforces the reality as expressed in my book (Living an Extraordinary Life available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com) that 95% of the foundation for our daily decisions is unconscious. We were programmed at a very early age by our parents, other adults and our culture to “believe” some very important concepts that influence the rest of our lives.

By becoming more aware of those beliefs even years later, we can make better choices of what to believe, what to discard and what to amplify—and in so doing, exponentially increase our sense of personal power.

Once our awareness is awakened, I really like the poet Walt Whitman’s counsel here to “dismiss what insults your soul.” It offers a fresh and very deep perspective plus a call to positive action.

What have you dismissed recently? Let us know with your comments!

With love and respect,

Robert

Are You Really Ready to Learn?

“Personally, I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught."

Winston Churchill

Ahhhh Sir Winnie, your wit and wisdom always seem to touch me at the heart level...and your words often make me a bit uncomfortable with their inherent truth.

I know it’s my ego, my identity as a “know-it-all” that gets in the way; yet that bit of self knowledge doesn’t seem adequate to disappear my resistance to “being taught.”

These times of rapidly accelerating changes in families, careers and the economy call for constant learning, for constant re-invention. What’s your take on why we sometimes resist being taught?

True confessions (and hopefully some insight) can be shared by commenting.

I look forward to the dialogue!

With love and respect,

Robert

How's Your Quiet Time?

“Some of us need to discover that we will not begin to live more fully until we have the courage to do and see and taste and experience much less than usual ... And for a man who has let himself be drawn completely out of himself by his activity, nothing is more difficult than to sit still and rest, doing nothing at all. The very act of resting is the hardest and most courageous act he can perform.”

Thomas Merton

Subscribers has asked me how I choose these quotes and the answer is simple: I choose the ones that speak to me, my history, my experience, my current reality and my personal vision.

This is a good example. I know that one of my challenges is to “do and see and taste and experience much less than usual.” I teach and attempt to model an advanced state of noticing, a greater awareness of the people and experiences in my life. Where this is inadequate is pointed to by Thomas Merton. Sometimes the “noticing” needs to be what’s happening within, the quiet time our habits and culture seem to deny.

What are your practices for “going quiet?” Mine include long walks in nature. Share yours with us by commenting.

With love and respect,

Robert

Freedom and Its Price

“All we have of freedom - all we see or know – this our fathers bought for us, long and long ago.”

Rudyard Kipling (1899)

Commenting on this quote could take us in many different directions. The one I’ll choose is to ask a simple and yet very challenging question:

What are you doing with the freedom purchased for you?

Answers welcome!

With love and respect,

Robert

Extraordinary Leadership and Vision

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the people to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Approaching the year-end is a time when many people pause and reflect on what they have already accomplished (highly recommended by this scribe); then look at what they want to create in the new year.

The leadership lesson de Saint-Exupery teaches above certainly applies to when motivating a team or a family or a work unit. My suggestion is to also apply it to our inner dialogue as we look at what is possible for us in 2010 and into a more distant future.

Go big or go home.

Your thoughts about vision...or anything else...can be memorialized here.

With love and respect,

Robert

Progress or Direction?

“The direction of the mind is more important than its progress.”

Joseph Joubert

I’m continually amazed by the ability we humans seem to possess in extravagant abundance for negatively judging ourselves and our “progress.”

The great teachers in my life have repeatedly counseled that a truly productive exercise is to take a few quiet moments to list our “wins,” our achievements for the year and then:

Accept that you were the source of all that has happened and all that will happen.

Truly, if your direction is positive, you’re already a winner.

As always, your responses are welcome.

With love and respect,
Robert

Wisdom from Kahil Gibran

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?”

Kahil Gibran

Approaching the holiday season seems to bring into sharp focus those important people no longer present in our lives, our failures or our hurt feelings. There are many legitimate motivations for feeling sorrow.

It is helpful to remember this brilliant poet and teacher’s counsel and realize that by fully experiencing our sorrow and putting it in the context of something valuable, we can get stronger and more effective.

Your thoughts are welcome, in fact solicited.

With love and respect,

Robert

What to Say and How to Say It

"The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem of what to say and how to say it.”

Edward R. Murrow

Long time readers know that occasionally I’m struck by the elegant simplicity of a quote and quite simply have nothing of real value to add to it.

This is one of those times.

Your communications are welcome

With love and respect,

Robert

Falling, Falling, Falling

"The bad news is you're falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there's no ground."

Chogyam Trungpa


It certainly seems to be a time of “falling through the air” for many people. The more challenging notion is that “there’s no ground.”

The gurus constantly teach us that the only “reality” we experience is the one we make up. It’s not an easy concept to grasp—especially for we in the developed world holding our apparent fascination with “things.”

My personal habit is that when I feel stuck or judgmental or confused, to pause and reflect on what reality I am creating and how I can take responsibility for creating it. Only then can I exercise the liberating power of choice—knowing that I chose all of what I am describing as reality and since I chose it, I can choose something more effective.

As always, your thoughts are welcome!

With love and respect,

Robert

Thanksgiving

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "Thank you," that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart

Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.

~E.P. Powell

So once in every year we throng
Upon a day apart,
To praise the Lord with feast and song
In thankfulness of heart.

~Arthur Guiterman, The First Thanksgiving

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

~John Fitzgerald Kennedy


First a thank you for mentor Tom Hill for sourcing these wonderful quotes!

I am grateful to so many and for so much in my life. In this context—to the Extraordinary Minute folks around the world—I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be in relationship and contribute in my small way to you. Your responses and expressions of interest in my speaking, writing and training work fill me with joy and satisfaction.

Wherever you are in the world, it is always a good time to express thanks for all of our blessings. Most of all for the blessing, the gift, that you are to yourself, your family, friends and colleagues, and to the greater community.

With love and respect,

Robert

What Are You Worth?

“in doubt a man of worth will trust to his own wisdom"

J. R. R. Tolkien

The giant assumption here is that we – man or woman – really experience our own worth. My personal experience is of denying my worth for many years; then fleetingly “owning it;” then becoming comfortable with my own value, the gift I represent in the world, most of the time.

For many of us, it seems to be an uneven process to simply “get” our unique, totally complete value in the world. The journey, whether it be short or long, is definitely worth some planning, commitment and, when those moments of aha come along, a lot of celebration.

Please let us know your thoughts about the journey.

With love and respect,

Robert

Internet Fun

“The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life."

Andrew Brown

“Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet, and they won’t bother you for weeks.”

Unattributed

“ Geting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.”

Mitchell Kapor

These Extraordinary Minutes have been so serious lately that I thought we should just aim some pointless fun at the medium we use to communicate.

Got a favorite quip about the “net” or e mail or ??? Let us in on the joke by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Commitment!

“Then where does your intention come from? Nothing can resist the human will that will stake even its existence on its stated purpose.”

Benjamin Disraeli


“Commitment” is the last, and I believe the most important, of my “Eight Power Principles” home study program. (Available, of course, at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com)

When one makes the kind of commitment the former British Prime Minister is referring to here, any other real or perceived weakness can be overcome.

Please share your commitment examples!

With love and respect,

Robert

"If you do not enjoy what you do to make a living, you are a slave in a golden cage and the best you can hope for is to work enough to buy your freedom and then hope that you have some life left to live."

Jonathan Manske


It’s always great fun and an honor for me to highlight the work of local (that is, Colorado) talent and Jonathan Manske has great insight. His little book, “The Law of Attraction Made Simple” is thoughtful and useful for anyone looking to clear, as he describes it, their “head trash” that might be in the way of accomplishment.

My executive coaching work and our seminars have taught me that some people must change jobs to experience joy and satisfaction from their work. However, the majority discover that by getting clear about their purpose and vision, then shifting their attitudes about the opportunity where they are, their current job suddenly becomes rewarding.

My assertion above is grounded in my experience. What’s yours?

With love and respect,

Robert

Problems or Opportunities?

“We are constantly faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.”

John Gardner

A fond memory is meeting John Gardner and sharing lunch with him on the patio of the Snowmass Club in beautiful Snowmass Village, Colorado. He’s a great teacher about leadership and life—and has authored several thoughtful books.

Personal, business and governmental...Today’s problems can seem insurmountable. Of course, they represent the potential for breakdown or breakthrough. It’s all about mindset, language and action. We do have choice and it’s our most powerful asset.

There’s enough about the problems in the media. What are some opportunities you’ve identified and are exploring solutions to? Let all of us know by commenting below.

Robert

It's Tough to be Kind

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Philo

Isn’t this timeless wisdom surprisingly tough advice to follow?

Loving kindness seems to be the central theme to the Dalai Lama’s life and teachings. Being in his presence is to have a direct experience of the power of kindness.

For me, “Mr. Critical,” it’s a challenge to remember and practice greater empathy toward and with others. Turning off my judgment machine and just “being with” people produces better relationships and a better experience of life—perhaps I should do it more often? (a little sarcasm there!)

Your thoughts, as always, are welcome so comment!

With love and respect,

Robert

Do You Want to Own Your Own Business?

“Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.”

from a student in an entrepreneur class


I recently attended the Entrepreneurial Thought and Action seminar at Babson College. It’s a brilliant program targeted to a wide range of budding entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs. I recommend it highly and you can find out more at http://innovationassociates.com

Our times seem to call for a radical departure from “business as usual.” More creativity, more innovation and more accomplishment—not less. On the personal front, it will require clarity on what you really want, a decision on what you’re willing to give up to get what you want and a willingness to experiment with various ideas and structures. We – as a nation and as a society
need entrepreneurial thought and action.

What’s your “big idea...or three” and what’s your commitment to having it become real?

With love and respect,

Robert

“Depressed? Of course we’re all depressed. We’ve been so quickly, violently, and irreconcilably plucked from nature, from physical labor, from kinship and village mentality, from every natural and primordial antidepressant. The further society “progresses,” the grander the scale of imbalance. Just as fluoride is put in water to prevent dental cavities, we’ll soon find government mandating Prozac in our water to prevent mental cavities.”

M. Robin D’Antan


Well......Mr. D’Antan seems to have said what he said very clearly and any attempt to interpret or comment seems designed for failure! Given that, here goes …….

What I observe in my work with senior executives and feedback during or after my public speaking appearances mirrors the concern expressed above. Pharmaceuticals – legal and not so legal – are often the unfortunate choice for “feeling better.”

Perhaps many of us need to dig some potatoes, really sit down and talk with our families and friends and take a long hike. What’s your way to handle life’s ups and downs? Let us know through your comment.

With love and respect,

Robert

Life Just Is

“When you boil it down, life is made up of our minute-to-minute experiences. And once we begin to become more aware, at some point we discover a fundamental truth: life is not positive or negative, it just is.”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life”
by Robert White

As always, I resist the temptation to comment on my own writing. You, of course, are not bound by any such rule so please respond.

With love and respect,

Robert

Come Play With Us in Denver !!!

If you’re in Colorado the evening of October 1st please join us for Epic Spirit—a fast paced group board game based on Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero’s Journey.” Get details and register at: http://herosjourney.eventbrite.com/?ref=ebtn

Dr. Arturo Bencosme will be our “coach” …. He’s brilliant, charming and engaging. I’ve played the game, had fun and learned a lot about myself and others. Bring a friend or make some new ones!

The Truth

“Say not, ‘I have found the truth,” but rather, ‘I have found a truth.’”

Kahil Gibran

Attendees at our seminars and readers of my book, “Living an Extraordinary Life” know that I take a pretty hard look at the right-wrong game. It’s a major destroyer of relationships and a pox on creating community. One of the big contributors to playing the right-wrong game is when we believe we have found “the truth.”

One benefit of aging is a certain wisdom is possible—not promised, just possible. I am less and less persuaded by “the truth” and more and more convinced that there are many truths;.
What’s your point of view on this important communication tool?

With love and respect,

Robert

Walking the Talk

"Well done is better than well said."

Benjamin Franklin

Long time readers know of my affection for Ben Franklin, his life and his work. While I am greatly tempted to make a political comment here, I’ll generalize instead.

It seems to me that we live in a kind of celebrity culture where being well-spoken can temporarily blind us to what is actually being proposed and “done.” With the constant flow of information we are assailed with minute-by-minute, our critical thinking and decision making skills are needed more than ever.

I’d appreciate knowing your experience and thoughts in this key domain.

With love and respect,

Robert

Ahhh ... The Judgment Machine

“Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.”

Dandemis


Of course, I want this to apply to others and not to me!

Need I say more?

Examples wanted and you can share them through the "comment" link.

You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.

With love and respect,

Robert

Living for a Good Purpose

“No pleasure philosophy, no sensuality, no place nor power, no material success can for a moment give such inner satisfaction as the sense of living for good purposes, for maintenance of integrity, for the preservation of self-approval.”

Minot Simons


I write this relaxing in the beautiful Grand Hyatt in Roppongi, Tokyo. Last night in a conversation with a Japanese friend she was lamenting what she described as a Japanese trait of determining ones identity based on the approval of others. After some thought, I shared that I believe this tendency is not exclusively Japanese.

My leadership seminars stress the central role of purpose in our lives and how an awareness of purpose and an ability to articulate it to others increases our effectiveness. I’m reminded by the late Reverend Simons that it is directly related to our sense of satisfaction with our lives.

With love and respect,

Robert

Are You Ready to Learn?

"Personally, I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught."

Winston Churchill

Ahhhh Sir Winnie, your wit and wisdom always seem to touch me at the heart level …. and your words often make me a bit uncomfortable with their inherent truth.

I know it’s my ego, my identity as a “know-it-all” that gets in the way; yet that bit of self knowledge doesn’t seem adequate to disappear my resistance to “being taught.”

These times of rapidly accelerating changes in families, careers and the economy call for constant learning, for constant re-invention. What’s your take on why we sometimes resist being taught? True confessions (and hopefully some insight) can be shared by commenting. I look forward to the dialogue!

With love and respect,

Robert

Wisdom from Duane Elgin

“To live more voluntarily is to live more deliberately, intentionally and purposefully -- in short, it is to live more consciously. We cannot be deliberate when we are distracted from life. We cannot be intentional when we are not paying attention. We cannot be purposeful when we are not being present.”

Duane Elgin

I was going to write this myself but Duane Elgin beat me to it. (my attempt at some jealousy disguised as humor)

I believe this quote is from his 1981 book “Voluntary Simplicity : toward a way of life that is outwardly simple, inwardly rich” Great title, great book and great quote.

The argument here seems to support prayer and meditation as tools for creating an extraordinary experience of life. I agree. Do you? Let us know with your comments!

With love and respect,

Robert

Seven Deadly Sins

"The seven deadly sins are wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, business without morality, science without humanity, worship without sacrifice, and politics without principle."

Gandhi

Growing up in an all Catholic neighborhood makes me wary about “sin.” However, ignoring Gandhi-ji’s wisdom seems perilous also.

It occurs to me that you can read his words ten times and get ten insights. Perhaps that’s enough for now – just read them several times and draw your own conclusions!

And ….. share with all of us. I look forward to interacting with your thoughts and feelings.

With love and respect,

Robert

Hooked on Happiness?

“Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.”

Chuang-Tzu (350 B.C.)

It’s always challenging to comment on these “Zen like” sayings which respond well to exploration in a five day or five year retreat setting.

I find myself on the other side of many motivational and self-help experts who counsel millions on how to be happy. My sense is that happiness is too transitory to actively create and in that context, I resonate with Chuang-Tzu.

I do believe we can set up our lives such that feelings of joy and satisfaction are more likely to occur. Happiness seems more random and therefore, while not something we can manufacture, something we can fully celebrate …. another welcome miracle in our lives.

What about you? Are you “hooked on happiness” as a goal or ????? Please share with all of us your thoughts and perhaps your strategies.

With love and respect,

Robert

Living "On Hold"

“Technology is changing our lives. It cannot and will not change what is fundamental to the human condition. It will never change the way we are, or how we feel. The more technology we create, the more we seem confused, side-tracked with what we are conned into believing will improve our lives in the future. Always the future. Anything to get us off thinking about who we are right now, and how we might make our relationships more rewarding and loving. Too many times, all of that is put on hold.”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life”by Robert White

As is my custom, commenting on what I’ve written seems self-indulgent.

I am, as always, interested in your thoughts and you are encouraged to share them with all of us via the comment link below.

With love and respect,

Robert

To Love or Not to Love?

“A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.”

Joseph Joubert

My personal experience plus observation of thousands of participants in our seminars informs me that while it’s somewhat easy to assert that we desire to be compassionate and kind, often that compassion is conditional. One of those “conditions” is pointed to in this powerful message from Mr. Joubert: we use our judgments of others to justify withholding kindness.

Now perhaps you’re “pure as the wind driven snow” (one of my Mother’s favorite expressions when she doubted my veracity!), and kindness is always available to you with every person in your life. If so, perhaps you should be writing these missives instead of me!

I sometimes struggle to get past negative judgments about people in my life so that I can be fully present to them and to extend to them the compassion and kindness I want from them.

I’m sure you have some great stories...Be sure to share them with us.

With love and respect,

Robert

Winning and Losing .... or Losing and Winning

"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even."

Muhammad Ali

There’s a lot of defeat “out there” ... failures in business, in relationships, with investments and retirement plans, government programs that don’t deliver on their promises ... lots of opportunities to develop defeatist attitudes and behaviors.

As I hammer home relentlessly in my book, “Living an Extraordinary Life,” we all have choices on how we respond to circumstances. While we often can’t control the event, we have total control over our response to it—that’s the essence of being personally responsible for our lives.
No one, least of all your humble correspondent, says it will be easy. And, of course, it is a choice and by choosing, we gain personal power.

So how are you doing with any defeat in your life? What are you learning? Let us all share in your learning by adding a comment.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. On July 18th and 19th in Fort Lauderdale, Florida I’ll be presenting with other innovative speakers and consultants, health & wealth experts, top athletes, and trainers—all focused on building what is called the success-mindset. This is where one begins to breakthrough fear, take risks, to begin finding & living your passion. Your price is only $149 and just insert RW01 as a Registration Code!! Check it out, it is definitely an event worth attending.

After the event, you will not be the same person as when you walked in. Your accomplishments and lifestyle will move to the next level. Personal growth is an investment, so this is something I wanted to share with you. You can visit their website at www.healthandwealthannex.com for details or call 1877-HW ANNEX to register.